One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and
decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife
decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance,
anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the
woman and says, ‘Good morning, Ma’am. What are you doing?’
‘Reading a book,’ she replies, (thinking, ‘Isn’t that obvious?’)
‘You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,’ he informs her
‘I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading’
‘Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start
at any moment.  I’ll have to take you in and write you up.’
‘For reading a book,’ she replies,
‘You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,’ he informs her again,
‘I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading’
‘Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start
at any moment.  I’ll have to take you in and write you up.’
‘If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with $e^ual assault,’ says
the woman.
‘But I haven’t even touched you,’ says the game warden.
‘That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you
could start at any moment.’
‘Have a nice day ma’am,’ and he left.

WHEN THE BOY WAS RETURNING AFTER HIS MARRIAGE…HE FOUND HIS WIFE HOLDING A SMALL PACKET;;;;;;;

THE BOY ASKED……..WHATS THERE IN THAT PACKET..

WIFE REPLIED…..DARLING THIS IS THE SECRET OF MY LIFE…PLS NEVER OPEN IT OR ASK ME ABOUT IT FURTHER….OTHERWISE OUR MARRIAGE WILL BE IN TROUBLE……………………………………………………………………..

THE COUPLE SPENT THEIR DAYS HAPPILY……BUT THE BOY WAS VERY KEEN TO KNOW WHAT WAS THERE IN THAT SMALL PACKET……

AFTER SOME DAYS THE BOY AGAIN TOLD……DARLING AFTER MARRYING YOU , I GOT THE WOMAN OF MY DREAM…BUT TELL ME WHAT THAT PACKET IS…….IT WLL NEVER AFFECT OUR RELATIONSHIP…..AS I LOVE U MORE THAN MY LIFE………………..BUT WIFE ONLY TOLD THAT I ALSO LOVE U MORE THAN MY LIFE….THATS WHY TELLING U NOT TO ASK ABOUT THAT……….

AFTER SOME DAYS WIFE WENT TO HER OWN HOUSE AND FORGOT TO TAKE HER PACKET………THEN THE BOY COULDN’T CONTROL HIMSELF….AND OPENED THAT PACKET……………………………!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE WAS SHOCKED TO OPEN THAT……..THERE WAS 30 RUPEES……AND 2 WHEAT GRAINS….IN THAT PACKET……THE BOY COULDN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT WAS…AND HOW IT COULD AFFECT THEIR MARRIAGE LIFE………

THEN WHEN HIS WIFE RETURNED …..HE BURST INTO LAUGHTER…..AND TOLD …DARLING WHAT IS THIS……AND HOW IT COULD HAVE AFFECTED OUR RELATIONSHIP……..WHATEVER MAY BE……U HAVE TO TELL ME ABOUT THE SECRET…

THE THE WIFE REPLIED………………………

THAT’S NOT GOOD……………….ANY WAY…….IF U HAVE ALREADY FINALISED TO KNOW THE SECRET …..HERE IT…………………

BEFORE MARRIAGE ..EACH TIME I HAD SEX WITH ANY GUY…I PUT A WHEAT GRAIN IN THAT PACKET TO REALISE THAT I HAVE DONE A MISTAKE…….……

THE BOY SAW THOSE TWO WHEAT GRAINS….AND AFTER WAITING FOR TWO MINUTES TOLD…..……….. ITS OK……EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKE …….

I STILL LOVE U BECAUSE U TOLD ME THE TRUTH…….. BUT WHAT IS THAT 30 RUPEES……………………………… THE WIFE REPLIED…..THE BOY FAINTED……………………

Qus. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

5) Qus. : How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax

6) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

7) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

9) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No
Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

10) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

11) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

12) Qus.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

13) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

14) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

15) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

16) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

17) Qus.: Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

18) Qus.: How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

19) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE
CENTRAL GOVT.’s TAX !!!

20) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

21) Qus :: can i die now??
Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!

Dear Walter:
I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off
for work leaving my husband in the house watching the
TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a mile down the
road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered
to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s
help. When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He
was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady . I am 32, my
husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve
years. When I confronted him, he broke down and
admitted that he’d been having an affair for the past
six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him.
He was let go from his job six months ago and he says
he has been feeling increasingly depressed and
worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave
him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant.
I don’t feel I can get through to him anymore.
Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Mrs… Lisa

Dear Lisa:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can
be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.
Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel
line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding
the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of
these approaches solves the problem, it could be that
the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery
pressure to the carburetor float chamber.
I hope this helps.
Walter