Madam:                                                                     

I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Thiruvananthapuram. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press   myself on you and hope you will take me nicely. I am a soiled son from inside Kerala. I am nice and big, six foot tall and  six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working  hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a  good  batter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.                                                                       

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am a jolly  gay. Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always  giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top.   That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym..  I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants are always open for  you.                                                                       

I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only.

What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why  I  am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my   things into your hand. If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I   will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb  belles in the gym. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you  and  press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation. 

Expecting soon,                                                            

Yours and only yours Kutty

Part 1

Yesterday i was trying to convert one of the PDF document to Image file . And as usual the process began with Google search for “how to convert PDF document to Image ( jpg ) file “. Google made our life easier ( not actually google its us who are making each others life easier sharing thing we know and Google is just a facilitator ) . I usually dont think much and put my logic before i go to Google and search for the things i dont know . This is bad.. after spending about an hour i didn’t get perfect solution . and later i got my mind working . 

The key was “Snap too” which is built-in feature in Adobe Reader . Snap too takes the snap ( picture of the selected part of the document ) and saves that in clipboard which can be pasted anywere ( photoshop , paint, word etc. ) . Since my PDF docuement was just three paged i just used snap tool thrice ( for each page ) . But this trick wouldn’t be of good use if the document is having many pages.

Anywasy my job was done  

So today i was using google and clicked on the “cached” link to see the google cache of my search result and to my surprise what i see is a Google Error which says ” We are sorry  but your query looks like similar to automated requests from a computer virus or spyware application….. blah blah… “ 

Google called me spyware/virus . And i am sure my computer didn’t have any spyware or virus because its my office computer which is protected very well ( i have not had any problem in my computer since more than 2 years ) . Google help says 

In a nutshell

• This message appears when Google detects automated querying coming from your IP address, thus causing a quick spike in traffic on http://www.google.com
• The error page most likely displays a captcha (a squiggly word with a box below it). To continue using Google, type the squiggly word into the box. The captcha image helps us determine whether traffic is coming from automated robot software or individual users.

I dont know whats wrong. 

Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the
master of presence of mind

This is a famous paper written for an Oxford philosophy exam, normally
requiring an eight page essay answer and expected to be backed up with
source material, quotes and analytical reasoning.
This guy wrote the below answer and topped the exam!

*OXFORD EXAMINATION BOARD 1987*
*ESSAY QUESTION*

Question: What is courage? (50 Marks)

Answer: This is courage

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. 
She asked, “What’s on TV?” 
 
I said, “Dust.” 
 
And then the fight started. 
===================
 
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. 
She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.” 
 
I bought her a weighing machine. 
 
And then the fight started. 
===============================
 
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive… 
 
So I took her to a gas station… 
 
And then the fight started. 
===============================
 
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. 
 
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. 
 
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. 
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. 
The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. 
 
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. 
She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’, and she processed my Social Security application. 
 
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. 
 
She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.’ 
 
And then the fight started 
==========================
 
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. 
My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’ 
‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’ 
‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’ 
 
And then the fight started. 
============================