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23. March 2009

POEMS FOUND IN TOILETS


THE ‘FUTURE’ IS IN YOUR HAND, HOLD IT GENTLY’

Excellent poems by not so famous poets… Found on toilet doors and walls…

A budding poet trying his best… 
Here I lie in stinky vapour,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.
Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this…
Here I sit
Broken hearted.
Tried to shit
But, only farted.

Someone who had a different experience wrote:
You’re lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!

Perhaps it’s true that people find inspiration in toilets.
I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.

There are also people who come in for a different purpose… 
Some come here to sit and think.
Some come here to shit and stink.
But, I come
Here to scratch my balls ,
And read the bullshit on the walls….

Toilet’s walls also double as job advertisement space… (written high upon the wall) 
If you can piss above this line,
The Singapore Fire Department wants you.

Ministry of Environment advertisement.
We aim to please!
You aim too! Please

On the inside of a toilet door: 
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.

And finally, this should teach some a lesson… Sign seen at a restaurant: 
The hands that clean these toilets also make your food…please aim properly.

17. March 2009

The Barber & haircut

A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?”

The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, “About 2 hours.”

The guy left.

A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?”

The barber looked around the shop and said, “About 3 hours.”

The guy left.

A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?”

The barber looked around the shop and said, “About an hour and half.”

The guy left.

The barber turned to a friend and said, “Hey, Bill, do me a favour.

Follow that guy, and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn’t ever come back.”

A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asked, “So, where does that guy go when he leaves here?”

Bill looked up, choking on laughter, tears in his eyes, and said, “Your house.”