You can’t change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.

Love…and you shall be loved.

God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.

All people smile in the same language.

Everyone needs to be loved… especially when they do not deserve it.

The real measure of a man’s wealth is what he has invested in eternity.

Laughter is God’s sunshine.

Everyone has beauty but not everyone sees it.

It’s important for parents to live the same things they teach.

Thank God for what you have, TRUST GOD for what you need.

If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow, you have no today to be thankful for.

Man looks at outward appearance but the Lord looks within.

The choice you make today will usually affect tomorrow.

Take time to laugh, for it is the music of the soul.

Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.

Love is strengthened by working through conflicts together.

Harsh words break no bones but they do break hearts.

To get out of a difficulty, one usually must go through it.

We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for.

Love is the only thing that can be divided without being diminished.

Happiness is enhanced by others but does not depend upon others.

For every minute you are angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can never get back.

Do what you can, for who you can, with what you have and where you are

1. Coca-Cola was originally green.

2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

3. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they

start with .

5. There are two credit cards for every person in the

United States

6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters

only on one row of the keyboard.

7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!

8. You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath ..

9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

10. People say “Bless you” when you sneeze because when you sneeze,

your heart stops for a millisecond.

11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

12. The “sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” is said to be the

toughest tongue twister in the English language.

13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to

suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and

die.

14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from

history.

Spades - King David

Clubs - Alexander the Great,

Hearts - Charlemagne

Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

16. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs

in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg

in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If

the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural

causes.

17. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and

laser printers all have in common?

Ans. - All invented by women.

18. Honey is the only food that doesn’t spoil.

19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

20. A snail can sleep for three years.

21. All polar bears are left handed .

22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive

from each salad served in first-class.

23. Butterflies taste with their feet .

24. Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump.

25. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

26. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

27. Shakespeare invented the word ‘assassination’ and ‘bump’.

28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

29. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

31. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the

body to squirt blood 30 feet.

32. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have

over million descendants.

33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in

your ear by 700 times.

34. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match .

35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

36. Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different

LAW OF QUEUE : If you change queues, the one you have
left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE : When you dial a wrong number, you
never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become
coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP : Any tool, when dropped, will roll
to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF THE ALIBI : If you tell the boss you were late
for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning
you will have a flat tire.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the
telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS : The probability of meeting someone
you know increases when you are with someone you don’t
want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT : When you try to prove to someone
that a machine won’t work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS : The severity of the itch is
inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE : People with the seats at the furthest
from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE : As soon as you sit down for a cup of
hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something
which will last until the coffee is cold.

Marriages are made in heaven,
then, what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage

During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom is made to sit on the horse ?
He is given his last chance to run away.

I wrote ur name on the sand ………….
it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air……………………..
it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart………….
I got a HEART ATTACK

LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire….. continues with smoke…..and ends in ashes…
But don�t worry - we are chain smokers

ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur inocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best

True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy
so when u need true love
spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow

Dear Friend,

when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock

ARE U REALLY DEAF ?

I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I’LL NEVER DRINK water….!!!

when i call u;
1 ring means i’m thinking of u;
2 ring means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means ………pick d phone idiot

Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change it to exclamatory sentence ..
Student : WOW !

The human brain is most outstanding thing…….
it functions 24hrs 365 days…..
it functions right from the time u r Born…. until you fall in love

SMILE - is a language of love
SMILE - is a source to win hearts…
SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality
SO….
Brush ur Teeth today onwards

A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir….

Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age hitler commited suicide

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an
hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S
relativity.
- Albert Einstein

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working
the moment you get up in the morning and does not
stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s
there to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain
the success of those we don’t like?
- Jean Cocturan

It matters not whether you win or lose; what
matters is whether I win or lose.
- Darrin Weinberg

Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will
remember you when he is
in trouble again.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand
wrong answers.

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it
creative problem solving.

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, didn’t know
where to shop.

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems , but then again,
neither does milk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to
shoot them.

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

The number of people watching you is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Dont worry that the world ends today, its already
tomorrow in Australia !

Do you want a phone with a Swiss army knife, a Zippo lighter, a double mega pixel digit SLR camera and Photoshop? The Nokia 6639 is the phone for you; this amazing phone has a Pentium M-Dothan binuclear 2.0GHMz with a Dual Channel 512MDDR2 memory with a support memory expansion, it also support all video format, WAV music format, MP3, conjecture, Ogg Vorbis, RAW, VOX, CCIUT u-Law, PCM, MPC (MPEG Plus/MusePack), MP2 (MPEG 1 Layer 2), ADPCM, CCUIT A-LAW, AIFC, DSP, GSM, CCUIT G721, CCUIT G723, G726 format CCUIT.
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