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31. December 2006

Murphy's laws on girls

1. If u thinks a girl is beautiful, she’ll always have a boyfriend To confirm that

2. The nicer she is…the quicker u will be dumped!!!!!

3. the more the makeup, worse the looks…

4. “95% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 5% would always be in your college / office.”……………..100% true


5. The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her Brother.

6. If by any chance the girl you like, likes you too, she will Let you know in about 10 years from now ,when you are committed..

7. the more you ignore a girl, the more she’ll want to be friends With you.

8. Theory of relativity…… The more u run towards a hot chick….the more she goes away from u…

9.Even if you got her out alone… just when you are about to let her know about your feelings…she will spot a long lost friend (I guess from Kumbh ka Mela)

Corollary to rule 1:
The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1

Axiom 1:
The more dedicated you are to the girl, the longer it takes before things work out, but ultimately it will (somesmile for the guys)

10. The day the chick you really like comes and speaks to youWill be the day when-
1. You are dressed badly
2. You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
3.Have a bad hair day

11. All the good girls are either nuns or married .the rest go Around with u and ruin ur head, money,health and leave u a total wreck.

12. The more seriously u like a girl…the more seriously her dad Will hate u

13. The love you shower a girl with is directly proportional to The number of bullets her dad will be showering at you

Great Software Quotes �. !!!

UNIX is simple. But It just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.

–Dennis Ritchie

Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.

–Ralph Johnson

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

–Fred Brooks


Theory is when you know something, but it doesn’t work. Practice is when something works, but you don’t know why it works. Programmers combine theory and practice: Nothing works and they don’t know why.

It’s hard enough to find an error in your code when you’re looking for it; it’s even harder when you’ve assumed your code is error-free.

-Steve McConnell Code Complete

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilisation.

-Gerald Weinberg

The Six Phases of a Project:

Enthusiasm

Disillusionment

Panic

Search for the Guilty

Punishment of the Innocent

Praise for non-participants

Good code is its own best documentation. As you’re about to add a comment, ask yourself, ‘How can I improve the code so that this comment isn’t needed?’ Improve the code and then document it to make it even clearer.

–Steve McConnell Code Complete

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.

–Bertrand Russell

No matter how slick (efficient) the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front of a live audience the probability of a flawless presentation is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved.

One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

–Robert Firth

Fifty years of programming language research and we end up with C++?

–Richard A. O’Keefe

C programmers never die. They are just cast into void.

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

–Edsger Dijkstra

You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic, but you cannot have both at the same time.

–(Bertrand Meyer)

(Thoughtful…)

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.

–Alan J. Perlis

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.

–Bill Gates

The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.

–Tom Cargill

Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs, while the Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning.

–Anon

As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn’t as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs.

–Maurice Wilkes discovers debugging, 1949

I did say something along the lines of “C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows your whole leg off.”

–Bjarne Stroustrup

It has been said that the great scientific disciplines are examples of giants standing on the shoulders of other giants. It has also been said that the software industry is an example of midgets standing on the toes of other midgets.

–Alan Cooper About Face

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

–Pablo Picasso

If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.

–attributed to Norm Schryer

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

–Will Rogers

Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer .

–Fred Brooks, Jr.

As we said in the preface to the first edition, C “wears well as one’s experience with it grows.” With a decade more experience, we still feel that way.

–Brian Kernighan and Dennis Ritchie

Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability –Edsger W.Dijkstra

I’ve finally learned what “upward compatible” means. It means we get to keep all our old mistakes.

–Dennie van Tassel

Rules of Optimization:

Rule 1: Don’t do it.

Rule 2 (for experts only): Don’t do it yet.

–M.A. Jackson

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.

–Alan Kay

Every program has (at least) two purposes: the one for which it was written, and another for which it wasn’t.

–Alan J. Perlis

Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand.

–Putt’s Law

Copy and paste is a design error

–David Parnas

Any code of your own that you haven’t looked at for six or more months might as well have been written by someone else.

–Eagleson’s law

The primary duty of an exception handler is to get the error out of the lap of the programmer and into the surprised face of the user. Provided you keep this cardinal rule in mind, you can’t go far wrong.

–Verity Stob

Can engineers be 'Touchy feely'?-an article by Chetan Bhagat

I remember the incident – I was in a restaurant, and one girl in our

group was especially charming. So I, like any other male, tried to put

on a wooing act. You know the routine, a nanosecond extra eye contact, a

few more nods to whatever she says, and attempts to throw in those

one-liners which you know you wouldn’t if she weren’t there.

And it seemed to be working. She leaned forward when she spoke to me,

and every now and again, we’d have a small conversation of our own,

separate from our group. She laughed at my approach with the fork and

knife, and I teased her about her hair band, which had little teddy

bears. Yes, we were flirting. A while later, she asked me the question –

what did I study? I said engineering, without any particular meaning

attached to it. And then like a cold metal rail, she went stiff.

My jokes weren’t funny any more. Her eyes wandered to everyone else.

What was it?

Why? Why? Why?

Two days later, I still couldn’t get over my great start that had

dissipated listlessly upon mentioning my education. Engineer? What was

wrong with that?

My mom had wanted me to become one since I was five! I had to call her.

‘So what happened to you that day, hot and cold, missie?’ And then she

said, trying to be nice, ‘Well, it’s just that I am skeptical about

engineers as friends. I don’t know, they can be, you know, very logical

and everything…

not very touchy feely’.

Not touchy-feely. Now what the heck did that mean? Well, she obviously

did not mean it literally, since girls don’t really suggest that sort of

stuff, certainly not in the first meeting across the table. I guessed it

was something to do with feelings, sort of having an emotional side. The

stereotype being, the nerdy guy who sees relationships like laws of

physics, to whom love is just a bunch of chemicals going crazy in your

brain, and getting to know a person means obtaining their bio-data.

It’s time to set the record straight.

It’s true that a lot of what engineers study (and they end up studying

quite a lot), has to do with formulaes, laws and numbers. No matter how

hard we try, some of the vocabulary we read all day gets into our

language. So when my mother said, ‘Are you getting married next year or

not?’ I was liable to say, ‘Well, at this moment in time, the

probability is relatively low,’ and felt it was completely normal to say

it. And when my sister went sari shopping and couldn’t explain the shade

she wanted, I told the shopkeeper the percentages of pink, orange and

red in the sari.

Yet, ladies, I don’t think we’re bad at relationships, love and getting

to know people. We too, can be touchy-feely, as that is part of our

education as well. The reason for this is that most engineering students

live in the ultimate educator – boy’s hostels. Now, let me explain how

this plays into this ‘touchy-feely’ thing. Relationships. Imagine

eating, sleeping, brushing your teeth, bathing (ok rarely this one) and

partying with the same people all the time. So, when you are kicking

that bathroom door down for the tenth time, or when you stand in line

for ‘gulab-jamuns’ in the mess, and when you are done with the vodka

bottle and sharing all your secrets, you know it is good practice. Yes,

hostels maketh the man.

So, next time you are in a flirtatious situation with the techno types,

go on, flirt a bit more. Of course, I am biased towards my kind, but if

you find the conversation turning too geeky, just ask them, ‘So, what

were your hostel days like?’ and chances are, you’ll see a heart behind

the calculator. Coming back to my missie, I thought of what would make

me win her over. Flowers… too cheesy. Music… don’t know her taste

(nor trust mine). Teddy bears… don’t even go there. Desperate for some

good lines, I just turned it right back at her. ‘Yes, I know what you

are saying about engineers. The thing is, unless people with depth like

you start hanging out with us, we won’t get any better. Can you meet me

some time for some touchy/feely… oops, I mean coffee/tea?’

She giggled. When they giggle,you have won.

Hence proved.

30. December 2006

Making concepts from IIM

A Professor at one of the IIM’s (INDIA) was explaining marketing concepts to

the Students:-

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” – That’s Direct Marketing

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: “He’s very rich. Marry him.” – That’s Advertising

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me.” – That’s Telemarketing

4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:

By the way, I’m rich. Will you marry me?” – That’s Public Relations

5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and

says: You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?” – That’s Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:

I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. – That’s Customer Feedback

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:

“I am very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband. – That’s demand and supply gap

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before

you say anything, another person come and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you

marry me?” and she goes with him – That’s competition eating into your

market share

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before

you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your wife arrives. – That’s restriction

for entering new markets

29. December 2006

Eclipse Design Phone: Is Simple Better?


Here’s another design from Rune Larsen, the designer of the Easy as Pi phone. All the phone has is a standard keypad and a pop-up see-through LCD.

This makes us wonder. Are people actually interested in higher megapixel counts, more memory, more connectivity, more media playback, and more everything in their phones? Or do they only want one like this, simple and for phone-use only? What’s your reasoning for each?

For us, we’d like as many features as you can cram into a package. Damn the torpedoes�and battery life.

27. December 2006

DOCTOR'S JOKES…….!

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Mary’s heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell Mary the news he said, “Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you’ve regained your senses.

The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”

Mary replied, “He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry

—————————— —————————— ——————–

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.
“Where are you hurting?” asked the doctor.”You have to help me, I hurt all over”, said the woman.
“What do you mean, all over?” asked the doctor, “be a little more specific.”

The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, “Ow, that hurts.” Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, “Ouch! That hurts, too.” Then she touched her right earlobe, “Ow, even THAT hurts”, she cried.

The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, “You have a broken finger.”

—————————— —————————— ——————–

This guy goes into a doctor’s office. The doctor says, “Oh, Mr. Jones! We have the results of your test. Do you want the bad news first or the very bad news?” The guy shrugs and says, “Well I guess I’ll have the bad news first.”

Well the bad news is, you have 24 hours to live,” the doctor replies. The man is distraught, “24 hours to live? That’s horrible! What could be worse than that? What’s the VERY bad news?” The doctor folds his hands and sighs,

“The very bad news is…I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday.”

———————————————————————————–

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